Are you being slowly murdered? Do you live with injuries that no one can see? Are you a victim of verbal abuse? Such abuse can lead to stress related illness that over time can become chronic. The support of family, friends and seeking professional help is needed and necessary. When your circle of friends find out, they may say, “I had no idea” but most of them would have seen it coming.
“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impact grace to the hearers.” – Ephesians, 4:2-9
As explained in the article, Life with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: The Verbally Abusive Marriage written by Dr. David Hawkins, the verbal abuser is not simply a bad man but tolerating verbal abuse only reinforces and enables it.
Many woman have questions about verbal abuse. One woman writes, “Why does it seem that after he abuses me verbally he is happy, like he feels relieved? Also, he will act like it never happened. It’s like he has no memory of it. I try hard to not fight with him because it’s not worth it – it only makes him say more things.”
“Beware of rude and abusive people who love their mouths more than they love you.” – J. E. Brown
PsychCentral gives the signs that you are verbally abused and the seven reasonable responses to unreasonable verbal abuse, written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D. Number one on the list is:
- Give up on the idea of trying to change him. You can’t. There are important but mistaken reasons why he is the way he is. It may be grounded in his own upbringing, his insecurities or in a narcissistic personality disorder. You can’t do his therapeutic work for him. But – if he wants to change himself, there’s hope….
Love yourself enough to get professional help. Psychotherapy is explained by Dr. John M. Grohol, Psy. D. as a type of talk therapy, therapy, or counseling, a process focused on helping you heal and learn more constructive ways to deal with the problems or issues within your life.
The Relationship Roller Coaster Ride – The Cycle of Abuse: (by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, condensed)
- Kaboom! – Loud Verbal Explosion
- Let’s Be Friends – Remorse
- The Calm before the next storm – Normal time or Honeymoon stage
- Tick, Tick, Tick! – Tension begins to escalate and the roller coaster ride begins again….
The effects of verbal abuse may leave you broken or depressed. The world cannot hear the sighs of your broken heart or the back-sack of worries that you carry around.
Start your healing with some natural therapy recommended by The World of Psychology: The six steps for beating depression without drugs, written by Therese J. Borchard, Associate Editor
- Omega-3 Fatty Acids: The brain needs it!
- Engaged Activity vs. Being Alone
- Physical Activity – Aerobics
- Sunlight Exposure – Reset your body clock.
- Social Support has a positive effect on stress hormones.
Additionally, I recommend the benefits of prayer, guided imagery, listening to soothing music, deep breathing: Relax-n-Renew. Also, exercises such as Yoga, Tai Chi, walking, dancing or swimming, watching comedies that make you laugh and being with positive people lift your spirits and reduces stress. There are also herbal remedies on the market that may give you favorable results. However, these suggestions should not take the place of getting therapy from a professional. You Got The Power!
Finally, the bible speaks strongly against verbal abuse and the Lord sympathizes and comforts those who are afflicted.
- “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18
- “The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.” – Psalms 9:9
MURDER: Jesus gave a deeper, fuller interpretation of the sixth commandment – ‘Thou shalt not murder.’
- “You’re familiar with the command to the ancients, ‘Do not murder.’ I’m telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder…..The simple moral fact is that words kill.” (Matt. 5:21-22, The Message/Remix)
Have faith and seek support as you separate yourself from your toxic situation. Take it one day at a time, each day being a day for positive growth.
God bless you in peace and healing,
Maria Lauren, a.k.a. Maria Elena Alberici – Riccio
Your Powerful LIFE blog