Art by Sherrie Thai of Shaireproductions.com
Finally, musician R. Kelly is being indicted on sexual abuse charges after decades of allegations and a Lifetime documentary of his horrendous deeds to women and underage girls. Because of his fame, it is my opinion that his horrific behavior was copied by weak-minded individuals to the further corruption of the music business.
I support the women who are having the courage to speak out about abuse instead of sweeping it under the rug.
Silence is sometimes a condition for survival but survival is not thriving and only prolongs the cycle of abuse. The heartache from verbal or physical abuse can build-up in the victim causing emotional, mental and physical health problems. It can make a person feel invisible, not safe, and diminished of self-esteem. If the abuse is given by someone who is loved, then the heartbreak can be soul-wrenching.
♥ Someone dear to my heart was raped by two guys, but she never came forth because no one wants to identify with the abused, especially if the abusers have put on a good facade to the world. Because the victim knew it was her word against theirs, this precious soul thought it was best to put it out of her mind and try to go on with life.
I am a witness to how this tragic violation took a toll on her future including her mental and physical health, even taking part of her voice.
Alone in abuse
Abusers hide behind closed doors, families, organizations and their celebrity. Abusive attacks are sometimes subtle and sometimes escalate in violence. Most times, these acts are protected by excuses made for and by the abuser.
It’s okay to be abusive because…
You made me do it…
I can get away with it…
I am more powerful than you…
I am richer than you…
Everyone loves me…
That’s just the way he/she is…
That’s just the way I was brought up…
They will never believe you…
Take it for the team…
It’s your fault…
It’s nothing…
I’m having a bad day…
I was abused in my past…
I am stressed…
I can’t help it…
I need to feel in control…
You shouldn’t look that way…
You had it coming…
You are wrong…
You’re a nobody…
I’m a somebody…
You owe me…
You aren’t perfect…
You are worthless…
You disturb me…
You don’t understand me and I won’t let you in…
I know you are trying to say something bad…
I’m stressed…
You need to be put in your place…
You better be invisible…
I’m the boss…
It makes me feel good…
I can make you or break you…
I’ve been good to you in the past…
You are messing up my perceived perfect life…
It’s my world and you’re just living in it…
You won’t stop crying so here’s more…
You dare to dream so here’s a nightmare…
I need to pull you down…
I can’t deal with your positivity…
I feel guilty…
I’m afraid…
You make me feel less than…
You are weak…
I feel weak and need to feel strong…
You’re an embarrassment…
I control you and the situation…
I can’t control the situation…
You will do as I say and think as I think…
You need to love me unconditionally, the good, the bad…
I can’t help it, God made me this way…
I’m broken so I have to break you…
I have heartache that you don’t know about…
I need to make you pay for how I feel…
I am angry about my life…
I am not happy so you should not be happy…
You bring me down…
I feel like a victim so I need to make you the victim…
You are an easy mark…
I have the right…
If you love me, you will take it and forgive me…
I need to be defensive and attack…
I have a good excuse waiting within me…
It’s survival of the fittest…
“BECAUSE”… I don’t want to hear because anymore! There is no good excuse for abuse and it is NOT okay.
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
Living with abuse is not an option. It is a nerve-wracking place where you can lose your soul. So, what should the abused or the abuser do to become healthy?
Please, get unbiased professional help, support and be prayerful with the hope that the cycle of abuse stops.
May peace and healing be with you,
Maria Lauren
AKA MariaElena Alberici
Your Powerful LIFE blog
Hope and Courage
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